I kept my hand off the edge of the bed as I laid down. “It had to be you, didn’t it?”I closed my eyes, thinking of Mel and Ellie. Those girls with their Brooklyn accents and perky tits. I imagined their thick strawberry blond hair and their visible excitement to see me. It didn’t help. I fucking hated masturbating with my left hand. I kicked off my pants as I swung back out of bed. I shook away my insignificant blood loss. I looked at the spatter on the wall. I could smell my piss in the air.“Yeah, maybe I’m right? Maybe I have no business around kids.” I frowned and headed back for the couch.“Her name is Noel, I have a dream about her...” I murmured to myself. My mind on my daughter’s chubby face before my view rolled up to see the soft smile on Amanda’s. She was beautiful. Smart. Reckless. I could’ve really loved her. I probably did. I smiled. I seemed to love all of the women. All of my family.Amanda was still a mystery. I figured she was afraid of me. The Brian she had known for. .” she agreed, snuggling in closer. “You’re so comfy...”He scooped her up in his arms, then headed out onto the Bridge, where Alyssa was watching the traffic on the Sector Map like a hawk.“You’re not planning on pulling an all-nighter are you?” he asked with concern.“I haven’t got much choice. If we’re trying to get to Kinta as fast as possible, then I’ll need to nursemaid the Invictus until we’re away from the Core Worlds,” she replied, flashing him a rueful smile, before focusing on her route again. “It’ll only be for tonight. If Lynette clears a path for us, it’ll be plain sailing tomorrow and I can sleep all day.”“I feel bad about going to bed while you girls are working,” he admitted, flashing an apologetic look towards Irillith at her IntOps station. “Are you sure you don’t want me to keep you company?”“And distract us with annoying questions all night long?” Irillith replied, the twinkle in her violet eyes letting John know she was just kidding. “I appreciate the offer, but you.
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